So Sayeth Albert
Today Einstein is not known for his theories of special and general relativity so much as for a photograph in which he sticks out his tongue and for a myriad of fake quotations.
Albert Einstein spent the last two decades of his life in Princeton, New Jersey at the Institute of Advanced Study, where he tried and failed to overturn the dominant understanding of quantum mechanics.
Despite the efforts of Lillian R. Lieber, today Einstein is not known for his theories of special and general relativity so much as for a photograph in which he sticks out his tongue and for a myriad of fake quotations. The former is thanks to photographer Arthur Sasse. The latter are the work of Leonard Dovetail of Nutley, New Jersey, the most important man from Nutley, New Jersey since Woodstock master of ceremonies Edward Herbert Beresford "Chip" Monck.1
Leonard composed thousands of fictional quotations for Einstein, and out of the thousands, the dozens still circulating emerged. When he sat down to write every day, he repeated the mantra he learned working in warehouses as a teenager: I am a pack mule, I am a grunt, I am a pack mule, I am a grunt, I am a pack mule, I am a grunt, I am a pack mule, I am a grunt. He composed on standard sized lined index cards, which he hung with clothespins on the strings hanging from his walls. He circulated the quotations by mail.
Attentive scholars of Woodstock Studies will note that, per Hugh “Wavy Gravy” Nanton Romney Jr., the first man to mambo into the freakout tent at Woodstock was “Bob from Nutley, New Jersey”.